i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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