People with herpes should wear stickers.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
