I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
