Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
