god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
