Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
