..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
