My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
