If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
