Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize