He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
