I can tuck mytits in my pants
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
