She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
