That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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