I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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