he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
