The maid of honor just puked.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
