piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
