so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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