I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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