VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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