i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
