Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
