Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
