Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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