Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
