I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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