Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
