shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
BRING THE BAGELS
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
