How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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