I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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