At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
