so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
