but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
