i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
