her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
