smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
