I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
