I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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