do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just invented taco cereal.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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