we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Drunk is a universal language darling
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
