HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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