So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
