I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
