i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
