So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
