look no pants
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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