my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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