It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
