I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
