Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
